It is tough to keep going when feeling alone in the journey. I read my Bible last night and the words from John 1:5 gave me great comfort:

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

No matter how dark our world becomes, the light—God—is always shining.

I guess this is how I am feeling these days. There is darkness all around and I see no evident way to escape. I know that it is only by God’s hand, His guidance, and care that we will remain steadfast in the daily routines of life, our journey heavenward. We must hold on to hope that one day we will reach glory, perfection, our eternal home with our heavenly Father.

John 1:4 says:

“In Him was life, and that life was the lights of all mankind.”

There is darkness in us all, not one of us is good (Romans 3:10) but by God and through Jesus Christ, goodness is born and divinely built upon. God’s light burns brightly within His children. He is the light of the world and we carry His light, reflecting it towards all. It is through faithful, obedient followers of Jesus Christ that God’s light shines forth. Hallelujah!

We are the ones who obscure the light of God. It is through trauma, offenses, mindsets, the news, social media, television, and in what we read. There is pressure coming every which way and it is challenging to keep a steady pace.  All of this can and does dim the light and if we hold fast to the things of this world in rebellion to God’s will, plan, and purpose, the light will eventually flicker and burn out. God does not need us to shine forth. It is a gift, given to us freely by God so that we can share His light and love with people. God’s light will never go out.

“The light shines in darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

Matthew Henry’s Commentary (John 5:14) puts it this way:

 “The spirit of a man is the candle of the Lord and it was the eternal Word that lighted the candle. The light of reason, as well as the life of senses, is derived from him. From whom may we better expect the light of divine revelation than from him who gave us the light of human reason.”

The light shines but the darkness comprehends it not—the discovery of the eternal Word to the lapsed world, even before he was manifested in the flesh.

The light shineth in darkness—the eternal Word, as God, shines in the darkness of natural conscience. Something of the power of the divine Word all mankind has an innate sense of. The eternal Word shone in the darkness of the Old Testament prophecies and promises. He that had commanded the light of this world to shine out of darkness was himself long a light shining in darkness.

The darkness comprehended it not. The darkness of error and sin overpowered and quite eclipsed this light. The Jews who had the light of the Old Testament yet comprehended not Christ in it. It was therefore requisite that Christ would come, both to rectify the errors of the Gentile world and to improve the truths of the Jewish church.”

I am feeling fully comforted by God’s mercy and grace. He has shed light into the dark places of my mind and heart; I am positioned in such a way that my entire being is thankful and in tune with His loving Presence. I sense a change in the atmosphere. I am clued into correction and I am open to my Father’s words. How kind of Him to love on me first before showing me my offense; the places where I have recently strayed!

I am shown A.W. Tozer’s book, “The Crucified Life.” Tozer writes about “The Five Ingenious Ways of Christians.” God has my attention; I am convicted and guilty:

“…seeking our own interests while pursuing spiritual interests under the guise of seeking God’s interests. Being self-serving is where the strange ingenuity of Christians begins. Under the guise and pretense of seeking God’s interest, we have a sly way of serving our own interests. We have become very clever in this endeavor. But we are only fooling ourselves into thinking that we are ‘about our Father’s business’ when we are actually doing our own business.

While pretending to seek the interest of God, people fall prey to promoting themselves. We want God to have the glory, but at the same time we would like a little commission paid to us for all the work we do.”

Tozer mentions five ingenious ways but only two resonated with me at this time, so let me share the second one that spoke to me:

“…talking about the dark night of the soul but rejecting the darkness…The dark night of the soul is not something pleasant to go through and does not end with a fellowship supper after church on Sunday night. It is a grueling experience that requires an absolutely strict detachment from everything that you normally rely on so that you are left with only Christ.

Darkness speaks of not knowing. We want God to do, but we want Him to do what He does within the scope of our comprehension. The dark night of the soul, however, is the work of the Holy Spirit that exceeds the ability of any man or woman to understand. When we come through the dark night of the soul, we do not know what has really happened to us, but we do know who has made it happen.”

At this point in my time of quiet with God, I cannot help but pause and drop my head in prayer:

Thank you, Father, for correction. Thank you, for stopping me in my tracks. Thank you, for hearing my prayers and answering. Forgive me for self-seeking ambitions. Forgive me for opening my mind to false teaching, for coveting and hiding it, using You for gain.

Thank you, for standing guard, and thank you for the warning, danger was sure to come. Oh, how grateful I am for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. All glory, honor, praise, and thanksgiving go to You! I sit lifted because of your care! How sneaky the snake is! Forgive me for falling into his traps, once again. I am not excusing my behavior, simply stating that I let my guard down, and in he crept, unnoticed by my eyes, but fully seen by yours. Hallelujah!

Thank you, for your rescue and victory. Thank you, I can hear your voice telling me to turn back. Thank you, for lighting my way back into the safety of your always welcoming arms. This is where I choose to be. Help me stay here! How good you are, Father. Thank you!

How blind we are to evil, all around us and in our hearts. I am ashamed but because of you, I do not reside there! Father, we need your guidance. We cannot avoid the landmines of the enemy, disaster, and death without you. What is unseen is seen by you! Hallelujah!

We can walk in darkness because it is by your light that we find our way out into glory! The love I feel in my heart is overflowing and it is truly wonderful! There is no place I would rather be!

Thank you, Father, for your faithfulness and love. I look forward to the day of completion—glory and perfection. No longer distracted and afflicted by sin, the enemy. All your children will be gathered at your feet, heads bowed low, worshipping, and praising all day long. There will be no pull of the world, no evil hearts and not one obstacle in sight to jump over. Each child of God pure and free! Hallelujah!!

Oh, Lord, what a chaotic mess we are in! This world struck with illness and death, people rioting and treating one another with unfairness and harm. What is happening to your beautiful world? Come Lord Jesus and save us from any further destruction. Take us home where we belong!

Lord, God Almighty, keep our eyes on you! Remind us of your spiritual care, your glory, and victory. Help us to see beyond what is before us. Let it not bring us down, lift us high above this torment and sorrow. Let us not look to the right or the left, speak your direction, and give us the courage and boldness to leap in faith and obedience to where you call us to go. You are a precious gift!!

Guard our hearts and minds and set us apart from this world. Empower us with wisdom, understanding, strength, and endurance for your holy purposes, separate us from sin, help us share your love and goodness with others. Almighty God, do not let us stumble and fall, and when we begin to shake, steady our weak knees so we can stand tall, firm, on the foundation which is built upon the Rock, Jesus Christ. Fill us with the Holy Spirit:, joy, peace, and love.

Father, you are our love, trust, security, constant companion, satisfaction, fullness, our Daily Bread, and so much more. Thank you, in Jesus’ beautiful and mighty name we pray, Amen!

In this time with God this morning, I am shown another level of my evil heart and I am disgusted and guilty. I so love the Lord and I continue to self-seek. How foolish and wayward I am. Oh my goodness, Father, forgive me! Take this from me, In Jesus’ Name, take this from me!!

No more YouTube, no more Google Newsfeeds, no social media, no Huffington Post or other news sites; no more mindless surfing. Did you not just show me several mornings ago what flipping through the Internet does? Of course you did and what did I do with that wisdom. I turned my head in rebellion! It is all useless garbage! Forgive me!

Spiritual Discipline #4
Guard your heart and mind!

As Paul states in Philippians 1:

Rejoice in the Lord.
Beware of false teachers.
Trust in the Lord always.
Reach after the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Set your heart on God, the Heavenly Prize.

My time with God has ended with the very same Scripture from my post, “Farewell.” Let me share Matthew Henry’s Commentary on this passage:

“I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. The fitter we grow for heaven the faster we must press towards it. Heaven is the prize of the high calling; what we aim at in all we do and what will reward all our pains. It is of God, from whom we are to expect it. But it is in Christ Jesus; through His hand it must come to us. There is no getting to heaven as our home but by Christ as our way.

I pursue with vigour. If that I may apprehend that for which also, I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. It is not our laying hold of Christ first, but his laying hold of us, which is our happiness and salvation. Not our keeping hold of Christ, but his keeping hold of us, is our safety.

This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth to those things which are before.”

*****

I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have placed my blog on private and told God I was not going to write anymore. I thought for sure the door had been closed to “Our Heavenly Prize.” I now realize that it is only the enemy trying to shut me down. But God…He never fails in giving me a super special revelation to keep me going. I do love to write, and I love to share God with others. I did not realize (praise God that He did) that I was going astray. He told me three years ago, at the start of the blog, to just write. Do not worry about anything else; He would take care of the rest and He certainly has. He has truly worked miracles through “Our Heavenly Prize” and for this, I am grateful!

Guard your heart and mind!

*****

I do not want to give up writing because it is a ministry God has given me. All the above was written yesterday and I did not post it because I was unsure of what to do but in prayer this morning, God reassured me that there is nothing wrong with the way I write about Him and our experiences together. I told a close and trusted friend yesterday afternoon that this way of writing is the only way I know how to tell the Gospel Message.

I felt guilty about the possibility that I write for an “audience of one” which was told to me several months ago. I am self-conscious of this and I do apologize if this is the case. I write what I know to write: it is honest, well-intentioned, and comes from my heart and it gives me great joy to share God with all of you.

I am not equipped at this time to share Him any other way. As He has so clearly stated, “You are not ready.” If He should request of me to write or speak any differently; He will teach me. He has taught me well thus far. I trust that when correction is needed, God will gently and tenderly do just that! Until then, I will push forth, by the guidance and love of the Holy Spirit.

Philippians 1: 27-30 (Matthew Henry’s Commentary)

“…stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel. It becomes those who profess the gospel to strive for it. There is much opposition, and there is need of striving. A man may sleep and go to hell; but he who will go to heaven must look about and be diligent.

Steadfastness becomes the gospel.

Those who would strive for the faith of the gospel must stand firm to it.

Whatever oppositions we meet with, we must not be frightened at them.

It is not simply the suffering, but the cause, and not only the cause, but the spirit, which makes the martyr.”

God bless you and thank you to all those who reached out to me in the past several days. Your encouragement was sent straight from God and for this, I am blessed and grateful. I will continue to strive to share the Gospel Message as God instructs us all to do.

References

Matthew Henry’s Commentary. (1961) Zondervan classic reference series: In one volume. Zondervan Academic.

Tozer, A. W. (2013) The essential tozer collection: The crucified life. Bethany House.

This will be my last post! I cannot delete my account without saying farewell! The door has been closed and I step with great faith through another. Praise be to God!

I have thoroughly enjoyed my time with you! What an encouraging, supportive community this is, and I so appreciate your faithfulness and kindness. I am incredibly thankful to God and to “Our Heavenly Prize” because He has used it mightily in my life and I am in great faith that He has used it mightily in yours as well.

The Lord has shown me, through this platform, that despite all my imperfections, I am well, I am saved, I am His, and I am loved. He has taken from me embarrassment, fear, shame, anxiety, condemnation, and guilt. I now know who I am in Christ. Hallelujah!

While it was extremely difficult to let strangers, friends, and family members into my world of chaos, I do not regret one single second. The past three years have brought me into my Father’s loving arms, erased past hurts, and replaced the space with love, joy, strength, and peace. In sharing my weaknesses, hardships, tears, and pain, I am no longer captive to the lies of the enemy. I stand tall due to the firm foundation of Jesus Christ.

I will continue to pray for people, our nation, leaders, and the entire world.

There is power in prayer!

I am reminded of the first time I was asked to pray for our emergency responders in a prayer group several years ago and not a sound pushed forth. I was paralyzed in fear and the silence was pure torture to my entire being. I desperately wanted to pray but could not utter a word. The prayer leader encouraged me with this statement:

“Prayer is a conversation with God.”

No matter how you pray, God desires to hear from you, He is listening, and He answers!

Philippians 3:13, 14:

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

I love you all and God bless you!

Warning: this post is a little scattered and could possibly be hard to follow, due to my current state of mind. November and December have been especially challenging; my faith has been put to the fire! It is only by God’s continuous supply in our lives, that we can withstand, overcome, and claim victory! Hallelujah! So, please forgive my confusion! God bless you!

12-29-2020 (Journal Entry):

I placed a prayer in my prayer box asking God for direction:

“Father, I am praying over an Instagram account and a YouTube channel. I would so like to share you further than my blog. I want to use my voice to declare your goodness, your pursuit, and love for humanity. I want all those you put before me to know that Jesus Christ came to die for the sins of the world, and it is because of Him, we are privileged and blessed to be part of your holy family. The wrath we so deserve has been placed upon Jesus Christ. Hallelujah! We are not guilty! We are righteous and reconciled back to you, our Father in heaven, equipped to do all good things for your glory and honor. Thank you, Jesus! There is so much more to tell…help me do this, Almighty God!

Father, I do not want to start up Instagram and YouTube without your blessing. I cannot do this without your Presence, your revelations, and your power. I know what happens when I go with my own ideas and in my own strength: failure, disappointment, sorrow, and embarrassment. What good am I without you? What is the purpose if you are not in it? I am seeking your will and plan, in Jesus’ Name, Amen!“

What is my goal in this? It is to connect with others by sharing God, personal experiences, prayers, and encouragement. It is to build a community of people who are willing to go that extra mile for Jesus in the hopes of gaining a deeper knowledge and intimacy with God. We all need acceptance, friendship, support, and love. This ultimately comes from God, but it is in and through His children that God blesses others. He tells us in the Bible that we are to love one another, forgive and forget just as He does, and build each other up! What a special opportunity it would be for all of us to gather, inspire one another to read our Bibles, and spend time in prayer calling out to God to come join us and hear our prayers, each professing their faith and trust in Him to answer.  A quiet time together, learning and growing all in the Name of Jesus!

We most certainly cannot do any of this without the Lord’s help!

I am still reeling over several instances where I carried on in my own strength and failed miserably. It is a reminder of my weakness and arrogance! Not good at all but crucial teachings in humility! All part of sanctification, glory be to God!

The Lord has blessed me with discernment when posting blog posts. I know when He has given me permission to publish and when He says that it is not quite there yet. There have even been many occasions He has told me, not good, disregard and place on private. He has taught me to close the lid of my laptop and pursue Him through different means such as reading my Bible, sitting in quiet, worshipping to music, or in prayer. He has taught me to wait upon Him and has highlighted the disasters when I did not! Not to be unkind but to fine-tune and promote spiritual growth.

One concern I do have is the added time and effort it would take to establish and maintain Instagram and YouTube. I imagine to some, this sounds silly, but when one is clueless to social media, one can easily get distracted by the upkeep and the new material required on both platforms. I admit I am clueless!

My prayer time each day is where I grow and thrive and I know the inner workings of my mind, I know where it can drift, and I do not want this to be a daily occurrence. If I skip one day of prayer time, I feel it. I am a million miles from God and my mind and heart begin to pine after worldly things.

If blogging is His choice for me, I am thankful and accept this gift with arms wide open. If it is His choice that I expand and try new things, I am also thankful for His gifts and accept these with arms wide open. It is not my will but His!

At the close of this quiet time, the Lord points me towards John 1:1-8 (NIV):

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.”

Please know this, I am in no way comparing myself to John and God’s calling on his life, but I do believe, as believers, we are to be a witness for Jesus Christ. We must always share God’s love with others as the Holy Spirit leads us. This Scripture only enforces our duty as Christians. We are God’s ambassadors, and we are instructed to point people to Jesus. John made sure to let everyone know that Jesus is the Messiah, not him; he was the forerunner, a voice crying out in the wilderness that Jesus is the light of the world.

12-30-2020 (Journal Entry)

I will be brief here because I spent much time in Matthew Henry’s Commentary regarding the Scripture from John 1. There was much explanation on John’s God-given assignment, and I found this fascinating and applicable to all Christians! I read several times the in-depth instructions on how one must share the Gospel Message. I admire and love the emotional display of John. He was full of unwavering reverence, motivation, energy, passion, and love for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and people. John’s godly example is hopeful and invigorating; I am fueled up and ready to keep moving forward in my own declarations for God!

But not so fast!

The Holy Spirit impressed upon me that I am not ready!

Praise God, for the answer to my prayer in the prayer box! I am not ready so, thankfully, I have put it to the side, and I will keep my focus on God’s next and best for me! And, praise God, that He does not send us into a divine assignment without preparation first.

12-31-2020 (Journal Entry)

Psalm 143:7-10 gives me great reassurance because at this point, I am feeling lost. I am not sure where I am, or where God is taking me. I know something is on the horizon and I know I am not ready for it, but I cannot help being curious as to what He is up to. It is by the words of Psalm 143 that I can step back and relax, knowing that God will show, rescue, and teach all in His time!

“Answer me quickly, LORD
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of
your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
Rescue me from my enemies,
LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.”

Later this day, as I sat at my jigsaw puzzle, I heard these guidelines from my Father:

“You don’t want people coming away from your blog, Instagram, and YouTube, seeing you. Meaning, when people read or watch, it must be God they see and only God. It is His love, His rescue, His redemption, His restoration, His story, and His plan! Everything must point to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit!

Create hope, encourage God’s power and provision, His help in all things! With His care not one is stuck…as His chosen people, we can look up and always be full of joy in the Lord. When God’s children write and speak, the content should always be about God.”

Oh, Father, I pray in Jesus’ Name, that as this blog is read, I have pleased you and featured you as the main character and if I have not, forgive and correct me! Amen!

01-01-2021 (Journal Entry)

Happy New Year!

Covid and a new variant discovered in the United States and other parts of the world. Vaccines approved and essential personnel and the vulnerable are getting injected! Reports of the vaccine not administered as quickly as officials would like. Hospital beds full again, it is a new year, and the virus is raging forth, dominating, changing, and taking lives! Lord have mercy on us!

My Scripture this morning perfectly lines up with God’s word for me for 2021. I had a hint of it a week or so ago but was not quite sure it was accurate. I know, today, it is!

Hallelujah for the giving of the word but oh my goodness for the meaning!

Let me share 2 Peter 1:5-8 (NIV) first:

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness, and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

2021 word of the year: Spiritual Disciplines as instructed personally by God.

Upon recognition of this special revelation, I immediately lifted my eyes from the pages of my Bible and gazed out my window. I did not really want to know anything further. I entered this new year void of a behavior (praise be to God) that I gave way too much love to and I already feel stretched beyond my capacity. There is more? I cannot even think about this right now!

My attention is pulled from the scenery outside my window to Colossians 2:2-5 (NIV):

“My goal (Paul; the writer of Colossians) is that they (the church in Colossae) may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in the order that they may know the mystery of God, namely Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.”

Now, this may be wrong, but as I read this passage, my mind immediately goes to Jesus as being the writer rather than Paul. This is, of course, the inspired Word of God, and He is the true author, right? Are we not supposed to read the Bible and ask God what it is that He is revealing of Himself in Scripture? What is it that God is trying to say and how can I apply it to my life and to this world?

In this passage of Scripture, I see that the words here, which were directed to the church in Colossae, are directed towards me and all believers who desire God. Just as Jesus promised the Holy Spirit in John 14:15-21 to His disciples, the same holds true for those who believe in Jesus Christ today and tomorrow and for always because God does not change! As Paul told the church “I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit” we too have the Holy Spirit within us. Jesus is not physically present for us to see with our eyes, but He is with us in Spirit. He lives in the hearts of believers, His chosen children!

After this glorious illumination soaked in, I came to a sudden halt at the words, “and delight to see how disciplined you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.”

I investigated further using Matthew Henry’s Commentary but ultimately was stunned into silence and could not meditate any further on this. I grabbed my pen and wrote:

I cannot imagine going any deeper with God. I feel overwhelmed, sunk, and somewhat depressed and I know this is the enemy’s intention; to make me turn back and say, “forget it, this is way too hard.”

Nope, I am not falling into defeat! I give this to you, Jesus! If this is the direction for me, you will supply all I need and more to keep me going. I know what I want, and it is you, all of you! So, with this being my prayer, all of you and nothing of me, what must I do? Father, break this down into simple steps so that I can set out in your wisdom and with strength!

Spiritual Discipline #1
Sit with God daily and meditate upon His Word; this is where your knowledge comes from.

Spiritual Discipline #2
Always ask God before doing and wait as long as He requires; His timing is perfect.

Spiritual Discipline #3
Practice moderation in all things; self-discipline and vigilance.

I imagine there is much more to come regarding Spiritual Disciplines. Three is a great start and I will do my very best to exercise them daily all by the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit!!

*****

Friends, I pray God blesses you immeasurably in this new year, 2021! I am praying for excellent health, prosperity, joy, peace, and love for all. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you!! And, may God eradicate Covid and all its variants now, in the mighty name of Jesus, and may we all see thankful, smiling faces very soon! No more masks and no more social distancing!

Much love to all of you! God’s guidance and protection be with you!

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)

Again, I woke with an agenda, my idea on how to handle the conversation that took place on Christmas Day! As I sat at my desk, I thoughtfully typed out a resolution to her dilemma and then quickly deleted my lengthy text message and set the phone down because I suddenly realized the divine opportunity put before me. Here is my chance to exercise the spiritual discipline the Lord coached me through several days ago regarding my desire to comment on the YouTube channel.

You can find this teaching in my blog post, “Peace of Christ.”

I asked the Lord in prayer:

“What do you think? How do we help? How would you like us to help? I know what I would like to do but does it line up with your direction? This is your will, plan, and purpose in her life, not mine! Do not let me mess up what you have in store, the goodness you have prepared for her! Your plans are perfect, my plans lead to disaster! I want what you want!”

In search of peace and God’s wisdom, I opened my Bible to Genesis 1:2 but was prompted to Psalm 33 instead; I was stopped at verse 9 (NIV):

“For he spoke, and it came to be;
He commanded, and it stood firm.”

I like your certainty, Father! What you say is Truth and there is no amount of shaking, begging, or crying that will manipulate your will to our favor. There is no bending your Word to fit our needs, our lifestyle! As we conform, we are transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit, and that is final!

Your Word is determined, declared, set, and done! Amen!

According to Matthew Henry’s Commentary of Psalm 33:1-11:

“God made the world and brought all things into being. How easily: all things were made by the Word of the Lord and by the breath of His mouth. Christ is the Word, the Spirit is the breath, so that God the Father made the world, as He rules it, and redeems it, by His Son and Spirit. He spoke, and He commanded (v.9) and that was enough; there needed no more. What God does He does to purpose; He does it and it stands fast.”

2 Corinthians 4:6 (NIV) says:

“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.”

Lastly, an excerpt from A. W. Tozer’s book, “The Attributes of God I:”

“Jesus came with our shape and form, bearing on Himself our humanity, that He might cleanse, purify, purge, remake, and restore us, in order to take us back with Him again to that place which is the perfection of beauty.”

A I read the above passages, I am given a better understanding of my current trials and I feel the arms of the Father close around me and lift me. The comfort I had prayed for had been bestowed upon me and the edginess and roughness that I felt, had gone, praise God!

Yes, this is absolutely a time of purging! The Holy Spirit impressed upon me days before that 2020 was all about spiritual fine-tuning. I started out the year with the words, “Perseverance: Stay the course I will be with you,” and the year’s end result has certainly been spiritual fine-tuning. I see this and wholeheartedly agree! Thank you, Jesus!

The Lord has cast His glorious light into the depths of my heart, into a spot that is unseen by most, and He has illuminated its rebellion and selfish, greedy desires once again. Yes, He has done this numerous times but I have always disobediently wiggled my way out of His requests of me. My heart grew heavy with His words:

“I have given you no room for rationalization or excuses. I will not tolerate it any further. I have more for you! I cannot trust you with my plans and purpose if you cannot do as I say. And, because I know you so well, let me press on your shoulders just a little bit harder so that you can feel my power in your life.”

I feel it and I understand this request now and thank you, Father, for your patience of me! I am certain of your will in this area of my life like I have never been before! I do not want to sit on the shelf, collect dust, and watch life pass me by! I do not want to end this time of isolation as I entered. I want change, I am intent and determined to have change. Help me Holy Spirit!

The secret place where I hide and escape has only created a wall between God and me. This is where I frequent when I am troubled and mixed up, it is a weakness and a once trusty weapon of the enemy. I was deceived into the belief that this god brought me solace and happiness. It attacked at a very young age, dug in, and has stayed the course until now. For most of my life, I nurtured and sought after it. I gave in, time and time again, to the temptation, because it gave me relief and ease in hard times. As each difficulty oppressed and saddened me, I leaned harder on its power over me until I could not go a day without it. Instead of trusting God, I trusted in myself. I controlled heaviness and turmoil by seeking man made things and soon discovered that once the elation went, I fell and flatlined!

Thanks be to God, I am not taking this into the New Year with me! Dr. Anthony George (First Baptist Atlanta) preached Sunday morning from Colossians 3:8-11. The title of his message was “Clean Out Your Cart.” The Lord spoke loud and clear especially when I heard the word “purge” towards the end. Coincidence, absolutely not! Confirmation, yes it is!!

Colossians 3:8-11 (NIV)

“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with it practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.”

Father, thank you for your pursuit of us! Thank you for sending your Son, Jesus Christ, to save us. Thank you, for salvation, reconciliation and the free gift of entry into your holy Presence by no deeds of our own but by the blood of Jesus Christ. Father, how grateful we are that you are never out of reach, always with us, kind and good. How blessed we are to be so well taken care of by Almighty God, our Father, the Creator and Sustainer of the world, the heavens, and all in it. All power and all glory be to you!

Father, thank you that you hear our prayers and you answer. Thank you, for the Holy Spirit, our Advocate, our Intercessory Prayer Warrior, our Helper, Protector, and Reminder of all the things that you have said in your Word, all that you have have spoken into our hearts. As we walk in obedience to your instructions and in your love, we are always equipped and well prepared to take on all things you have called us to.

Father, thank you, for making us in your image. Thank you for your understanding, will, and active power. Thank you, for your knowledge, righteousness, and holiness. Thank you, for your inspired Word, the Holy Bible. Thank you, for the motivation, energy, desire, and joy in sitting daily with you. Never let that holy fire go out!! Fan the flames, Father, until we see and feel only You!! Hallelujah!!

Father, bless us with strength, endurance, peace, and perseverance, guidance, and protection in all circumstances in life. To those feeling oppressed and burdened due to conflict: personally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, Father, elevate, draw near, preserve, and heal. Bring us into a total God-dependent, nothing of this world, mature relationship with you. Whatever you are working out and working in, help us walk in obedience to your promptings. Keep the enemy from us, let him not torment, torture, persuade, provoke, or tempt! Let no weapons formed against us prosper and uphold us with your righteous right hand. We cry out to you to use us fully, for your honor, glory, and praise so that all can see that you are alive and well and always present in every single detail in earth and in heaven.

Father, we trust and have faith in you. We believe that what you have started within each one of us, you will complete. We are overcomers and victorious by your holy, heavenly, and Sovereign hand! We believe that on the other side of struggle and hardship, we will be fine-tuned to the likeness of Jesus. As each difficulty thrusts us into the valley of strife, you are with us, and as we take each step in faith, we are grown spiritually so that we can do and say as only you would have us do and say, not looking to the left or the right, but only at the face of our Father. We walk by faith, according to your Word, because we know where our Help comes from! We know Who is the lifter of our heads! You are a shield around us, our comfort, our refuge. There is nothing better than to be in complete union with you, peaceful and without want. We cannot joyfully approach our day without you! We cannot even fathom this thought! You are all we need and how satisfying You are!

Father, continue to transform our hearts. Continue, to purge your children of the sin that keeps each one of us from knowing you as you intend and desire. Take those areas that are stubborn and hard and replace the space with the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Help us live Spirit-filled and Spirit-controlled.

Father, we worship and sing to YOU and YOU alone an “Endless Alleluia” (Cory Asbury).

Thank you for hearing our prayers and answering! We love you!!

It is in Jesus’ precious Name we pray,

Amen!!

Those of you reading this blog, I pray God blesses you immeasurably today, tomorrow, and always!! Thank you so much for your faithfulness and support. I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed spending this year with you. May God continue to inspire us to share the Gospel Message of His Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. Amen, Amen, and Amen!!

I had some idea on how I wanted to respond to this YouTube channel and to one of the commenters but held back, knowing by God’s grace, that it is best to ask His advice before pushing forth in my own thoughts and feelings.

“We must have a continual regard to God’s providence. We must depend upon it in all our affairs, both by faith and prayer. We must therefore trust in the Lord with all our hearts; we must believe that He is able to do what He will, wise to do what is best, and good, according to His promise, to do what is best for us, if we love Him, and serve Him.

We must ask God’s advice and beg direction from Him—He shall direct thy paths so that thy way shall be safe and good and the issue happy at last” (Matthew Henry’s Commentary, Proverbs 3:5-6, p. 737).

On this YouTube channel, the woman speaks openly of her personal life and her faith in God. I find that she and I are similar, so I check in on her from time to time to see where she is in her thoughts and emotions because I identify with parts of her story.

The other night she posted a new video, and the title grabbed my attention, so I listened and as I did, I felt drawn into her transparent account of her current circumstances. She admitted to spending some time in the hospital and that she had just arrived home and was feeling thankful. She was pleased with her Christmas tree and her decorations which did look welcoming and festive. It was good to see her smile!

I could not help but browse the comments on this video. I am not a huge reader of comments because I feel that some can be harsh and negative. We must guard our hearts and minds, whatever we let in could potentially become a war zone!!

In this case, I skimmed and came across one that gave me pause. Let me share it with you so that you may have a better understanding of where I am coming from.

It appears to be from a male individual; I will keep his name out of it because it is not my intention to bash or shame him, only to share with you the wisdom God implanted within me regarding his message to this woman on the YouTube channel. He writes:

“Don’t believe the whole Bible Story thing. I think there’s a reason they call it the greatest STORY ever told. I do enjoy listening to you though. You come across as a legitimate person dealing with real issues and doing the best you can. If believing helps you get through the days, you gotta do what you gotta do. For you…peace of Christ.”

Peace of Christ is how this YouTuber closes her videos.

I could scroll no further because I felt defensive. I wanted to blurt out a comment but instead, I sat for a good fifteen minutes stewing. It evoked such emotion; I felt sorry, angry, doubtful, and thankful all at the same time.

Sorry, because someone would take the time to spew negativity on a faith-based YouTube channel.

Sorry that he felt led to deflate rather than to uplift this woman who is obviously in a difficult time in her life. She is wavering in faith, questioning God’s existence, and possibly feeling foolish for her beliefs and practices.

I do not fault this man, entirely, because I know it is truly Satan behind this individual’s action; this is where the fault lies. This is where it starts! Yes, there is a responsibility to the commenter but when blinded by darkness, one cannot see where one goes wrong! I can testify to this!!

Sorry, because this person is missing out on God’s goodness! There is so much more to our daily existence when God is guiding and perfecting our steps. There is a love, that is not of this world, that this man is void of. God is unable to pour His love into him because his heart is hardened; it cannot accept what is freely given to him. There is fullness to life when God occupies our hearts. We become soft inside; we are a new creation in Christ.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians: 5:17, ESV).

Angry, because this person has no clue as to who God is, no idea of the power and the love of God for ALL people. This is an individual who is clearly at ease to eradicate God’s Word, self-empowered to squash the Gospel Message without realizing WHO he is really tampering with. He has no regard for the betterment of others. He sees weakness and strikes!

Angry because this guy represents a corrupt and dysfunctional world. He is a reminder that there are self-seekers out there who are determined to sabotage others. What was once created pure and perfect is now marred with discord and hate. God has given so much. He is worthy of honor, glory, praise, and thanksgiving and we keep it all for ourselves.

Angry, because this man is no different than I. Without the blood of Jesus, I am just as poor as he is!

Angry, because he shook me!

Doubtful of any goodness in people and in myself.

Doubtful, in my own belief in God.

Doubtful in the things I think, say, write, and do.

Is my mind playing tricks on me? Is the mind truly strong enough to heal, change behaviors, bring about new perspectives, and conjure up a personal relationship with Someone that is unseen: A pretend friend, a crutch, an escape, an excuse? Is the Bible true or is it just a great STORY as the commenter suggests? Did any of it really happen or will it happen: Noah and the Ark, David and Goliath, The Ten Commandments, the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the New Creation, and eternal life?

As I sat in doubt, the Lord in His faithfulness, brought to my remembrance, the tender care He has bestowed upon me thus far. He pointed out, as He has always does when I am shaken, that He has always been with me. He showed me where I was before I devoted my life to His Son, Jesus, and where I am now. I am different! The battles that He has won in my life; I could not win in my own strength. Trust me, I have tried numerous times to accomplish the impossible all by myself. I could only grit my teeth and bear it for so long, I would slowly slide backward and eventually end up right back to the beginning, square one, I called it! I shudder at the thought of that old Racinda!

It is only God who changes the heart! A person does not go from self-centered thinking to holy desires and affection for Jesus all alone. There is a divine work in progress before that person is opened to receive Jesus Christ. God is on the move while we are in the midst of sin. Is that not glorious! Here we are, king of our kingdom, doing as we please, making choices according to our comforts and will, and God’s hand is in motion. His power and grace fill the atmosphere and we are clueless! The Holy Spirit circles crowds of people, looking for that one who has been specially readied to be descended up and when this happens, that person is immediately destined to a life of change.

It may be a loud announcement of glory or it may be quiet and without recognition but rest assured, when Jesus is received, you have also received the Holy Spirit, who has come to live in you, praying on your behalf, protecting, guiding, and transforming!

“If you love me (Jesus), keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of Truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

All this I (Jesus) have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:15-18, 25-27).

Hallelujah! It is nothing we do; it is everything He does!!

Thankful, because I was blind and now, I see (Amazing Grace, John Newton). Thankful, that at every twist and turn in my life, God is there. Not one detail goes unnoticed! He is with us! I hear Him and feel Him, so I know He exists. I am well, joyful, and at peace because of Him. I know what I was, and I know where I am now and I did not do any of it. Trust me, I have tried!!

Thankful because He choose me. Thankful for the opportunity to serve Him and people, to know Him and love Him. Thankful for my Salvation!

Please make no mistake, what He does for one, He does for all.

Yes, I did stew over the disrespectful comment to the woman on the YouTube channel. He was not only rude and heartless to her but towards God as well. He will have to answer to this, and it may be while he walks this earth or it may be when he stands face to face to Almighty God. The day is coming for us all! There is no way out of this!

Whether this guy believes in God or not, his words were still thoughtless and inconsiderate. I do understand that there is unbelief in the world and it certainly is not what I would like but I am thankful it weeds out the righteous from the unrighteous and at the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, there will be a divine sifting and I am thankful that not one will come through the gates of heaven and into the New Creation who does not belong.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14, NIV).

Two days ago, I did come into prayer with my own agenda regarding the response to the YouTube channel and the commenter. The Holy Spirit held me back, telling me to seek God first, to which I did. I asked God:

“Do you want me to respond? If so, what do you want me to say? Do I respond to both the woman and the man? I want to do as you request.”

As I sat and prayerfully pondered all the questions, I realized that God’s peace had not been present the entire time I was with Him. Those emotions that I felt in reading the unbelieving comment had quietly crept into my private communications with God. My serenity was yanked from me and I was left rattled! The communion I crave from Him had not been there. I was so wrapped up in my plans for the morning that I could not hear Him.

Once the Holy Spirit pointed out the intrusion, He brought to my mind Proverbs 3:5-8 (NIV):

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”

In reading this, it was God’s peace that was missing in my time of prayer.

In my experience, if there is peace, there is God; when there is unrest, there is the enemy. Seek peace always and there you will find God!!

I dropped my agenda and prayed:

“…Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress” (Psalm 46:10-11, NIV).

I am confirmed in my Holy Spirit guided decision to wait on God. No matter how small or big, we should never make a decision without asking God first. What sounded like the right thing to do that morning regarding a YouTube response, now seems silly and pointless.

I prayed for both, the woman and commenter, and I will continue to pray for them because I know the power of prayer. I know that as I pray, I am heard, and I am answered. God will deal with them both in the way He sees fit.

I do not say this unkindly! God is a loving God, and He will do just as His Word promises. His sent His Son into this world to save us all. Jesus Christ is for us, not against us. It is His blood that reconciles us back to the Father, and because of this, Jesus will do as only He can do to bring goodness to the people and glory to Almighty God.

Hallelujah and peace of Christ!

I did not exactly know all the details but in God’s perfect timing, I began to slowly understand. At first, completely in the dark; I knew something was about to change, and I felt great expectation along with apprehension that SOMEONE was at work: defending, battling, accomplishing, and winning.

 For at least three weeks, I sat down to pray and read the Holy Bible, the inspired Word of God, and I was distracted, grappling, and perplexed. The intimate exchange that I am accustomed to was not evidently present. God silent! No, this cannot be! I saw no direction, I had no clue where He was taking me, but I knew that I trusted Him. He has taught and cared for me well; why would this chain of unfortunate events be any different?

*****

As we made our way to the hallway, I sensed an unseen activity. Something did not feel quite right. As a matter of fact, the entire exchange was puzzling. It was not until the door closed at Thanksgiving, her imprint still fresh on my cheek, that I realized the spiritual atmosphere had taken an unexpected turn. There was confusion, and awkwardness, a void in the closing words and it was not until an hour or so later that my suspicions had been confirmed. I was shocked, fearful, and at a loss for words. I knew at that moment, there was no way out! It would be an act of God if we were to escape unscathed! It would be by His mercy and grace, alone! I found myself standing at the edge of a critical opportunity, the result unknown to me but fully known to God. He always has a plan, and it is good!

After Thanksgiving, I experienced several days of silence and darkness, imagining all sorts of disastrous scenarios and teetering on the cusp of fear and depression. I was on my own, but not alone, if that makes any sense? I knew the choice was mine, but I also knew that God was with me, whatever that choice came to be. All to familiar with anxiety, fear, and panic, I knew immediately, this was not the favorable route and I questioned:

“Where does my peace come from? During challenge and disappointment, where do I find refuge? It comes from God!”

This was the direction I aimed for and I declared this to God as I stepped forward in faith!

I will not fall into the traps of the enemy! I will not succumb to old behaviors and strategies! I will be still and wait on God. He is doing new things and I will not disrupt His sanctifying process within me! I want what He has for me!

Even though I heard not a peep from God, I still sought Him daily, thanked Him, and praised Him! As best as I could muster, I looked forward to the things He was doing. I repeatedly told Him:

“I rest in you,  I trust in you, and I will wait on you!”

It was days later, that He drew me to the book, “Hinds’ Feet on High Places,” by Hannah Hurnard. This was the first part of the Lord’s vital provision that I had been praying for, an open door, light in the place of darkness, and I took it in gratefully. As I read, I felt the current burdens begin to lift:

“During the awful moment or two it seemed to Much-Afraid that she was actually looking into an abyss of horror, into an existence in which there was no Shepherd to follow or to trust or to love—no Shepherd at all, nothing but her own horrible self. Ever after, it seemed that she had looked straight into Hell. At the end of that moment Much-Afraid shrieked—there is no other word for it.”

Thank you, Jehovah Jireh, you are the Lord who provides! You supply all that we need each and every day. When times are bleak and disheartening, scary and paralyzing, directionless and hopeless, you are there, Jehovah Shammah. Thank you! Even when we cannot see our way, you are there to guide and to protect us. You are so faithful, good, and kind!

We must be alert to all activity around us, what is seen, and what is unseen! As believers in the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord, Jesus Christ, we have the power and the authority to conquer and overcome but we must stay vigilant, in tune, and in line with God. He is our trustworthy Guide throughout life, our voice of Wisdom, our Protector, our Savior, and so much more. He is our life, our joy, and peace!

Just as Much-Afraid called out to the Shepherd, I did the same; I had no choice. The heaviness of the Lord’s hand was upon me and to refuse Him was just not an option! The Lord’s next provision came from Isaiah 42:16 (ESV):

“And I will lead the blind
in a way that they do not know,
in paths that they have not known
I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them
into light,
the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do,
and I do not forsake them.”

David proclaimed in the Psalms (another source of God’s provision) his trust and love of the Lord. He knew where his help came from. He had great faith that as he prayed to the Father, he was heard, and answered. I hold onto this declaration for myself! As manna fell from the sky in Exodus, providing the Israelites with their daily nourishment, I too, can rest knowing that all my needs will be met according to God’s will, plan, and purpose and the same goes for all of God’s children! What He has done throughout the Bible in the lives of people and circumstance, He still does today. In each day of struggle and confusion, the Lord is there to give insight and encouragement. He is an ever-present help in times of trouble. He really is with us; He will bless us with what we need to keep moving forward.

After all these special revelations, I am feeling uplifted, content, and thankful that I am not in this valley all by my lonesome. None of us are! As we turn and lean heavily on God, we will be rewarded! During my fourteen-day quarantine along with another two weeks of waiting to see the dentist (yes, there is more to this story) I am given spiritual insight. I am now keenly aware of the “working out” of God regarding the stoney and stubborn places in my heart and this is when I realize that there is much more between God and me. Not only was He stripping me of fleshly desires, but He was urging me to confess and repent of ALL sin, those undetected and those blatantly carried out and as I have previously written, this is a daily prayer!

“Father, bring to my remembrance all those things I have done in the past that offended you! I want nothing between you and me.”

How faithful He is! I am mortified at the things I have done and the things, I think! How ugly and spiteful I can be! Confession rolls from my tongue as He reveals each episode of sin. I want no part of any of it, I want it out, and in its place, I want the Lord to take up His rightful spot. As I do this, the Lord’s provision pours forth. He puts before me an excerpt from A. W. Tozer from his book, “The Crucified Life:”

“As long as a vessel is filled with something, nothing else can come in. And here is where a spiritual law comes into play. As long as there is something in my life, God cannot fill it. If I empty out half of my life, God can only fill half. And my spiritual life would be diluted with the things of natural man. This seems to be the condition of many Christians today. They are willing to get rid of some things in their lives, and God comes and fills them as far as He can. But until they are willing to give up everything and put everything on the altar, as it were, God cannot fill their entire lives. One of the strange things about God is that He will come in as far as we allow Him. I have often said that a Christian is as full of the Holy Spirit as he wants to be. We can beg to be filled with the Holy Spirit. We can talk about it, but until we are willing to empty ourselves, we will never have the fullness of the Holy Spirit in our lives. God will fill as much of us as we allow Him to fill.”

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for sparing your children from a life of our own choices! Although you do give us free will, we thank you that you are there to provide each with wisdom and understanding, and a deeper knowledge of you. Thank you, that as we are faced with decisions to make, you are there to show us the way. Forgive us, Father, for choosing unwisely at times!

Thank you, for the precious blood of Jesus, for Sanctification and Salvation! Thank you, for the forgiveness of our sins and forgetting our sins because we are clothed in the righteousness of Jesus. We give you all the glory for it is YOU that brings us to the place where we are today. How wonderful that we are so changed by the power of the Holy Spirit that those past events no longer shake us, nor today’s or tomorrow’s! It is with our spiritual eyes that we can see all those things had to happen and honestly, I would not change a thing! All those mishaps, waywardness, and pain which were all meant for evil have been turned into good. I am sorry for my offenses! The enemy’s intention is to isolate your children from their Father! We are placed on this earth to share your glory, to point others towards Jesus Christ, and it is the devil’s plan to render us fruitless, to take from You the glory that only you are worthy of! YOU, however, prevail and are victorious! The Bible tells us so! You turn the bad into good!

Thank you, for choosing us! Thank you for setting your children apart for holy purposes and set apart from sin, destruction, and death. Thank you, for this deeper life with You. Father, continue to transform each one into the likeness of Jesus. Let nothing come between us, ever! Keep our hearts on fire and open to your will, plan, and purpose, and empower us to walk obediently in your ways! We are truly blessed and truly grateful! Help us become even more grateful! In the Mighty Name of Jesus, I pray, Amen!!

Yesterday’s provision comes from Isaiah 43:1-3:

“But now thus says the LORD,
He who created you. O Jacob,
He who formed you, O Israel:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you:
I have called you by name, you are
mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you:
And through the rivers, they shall not
overwhelm you:
When you walk through fire you shall
not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

God bless you, friends! I pray you are abundantly blessed today and always! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I love you!!

This is day five!

My husband and I were exposed to a positive case of Covid. The one who tested positive is doing better and I am praying for a full recovery for all and also for all those in this world who are battling this disease! Lord have mercy!

Please keep my family in prayer and I will do the same for you and yours!

I must take a minute and thank God for this day of good health! By God’s powerful hand, prayer, rest, our family’s love, support and encouragement, and megadoses of vitamins, we are up and carrying out our daily responsibilities as we normally do, ever since this pandemic started. My husband is working from home and I am keeping up with my studies online. I am grateful and continue to lean and depend on God, trusting that He has a plan! He is faithful in keeping each one of us moving in a forward direction!

By the transforming work of the Holy Spirit, my perspective has changed. I can guarantee you that if this Covid exposure would have struck months earlier, my anxiety, fear, and depression would have been unbearable and debilitating! Praise God, I am looking through a biblical lens and I am overwhelmed by His miraculous touch. It truly is amazing what He can do if we invite Him in. I am ever so thankful for a new life and I imagine you are too!

John 3:16 (NKJV)

For God so loved the world that He gave
His only begotten Son, that whoever believes
in Him should not perish but have
everlasting life.

I want to tell you what the Lord has revealed regarding my repeated offense towards Him; this is one I have struggled with and have openly shared with you in numerous blog posts. Instead of rehashing the addiction which only brings on shame and guilt, I would like to elevate and give glory, honor, praise and thanksgiving to God which is what I should be doing in the first place. How guilty I am of stealing God’s glory and placing it on me instead!

If I stray back to showcasing myself as the main character in God’s story, I am sorry! I am merely human and a work in progress! Sanctification is a lifelong process! It is not until we stand before God that full glory is reached and it is not by our own doing!

I am making my way through the Psalms and am currently reading Psalm 38, so I would like to tell you what I learned as I sat with God this morning.

According to Matthew Henry’s Commentary (1960, p. 615), Psalm 38 is a penitential psalm. It is full of David’s (the writer) griefs and complaints due to his sins; his afflictions are the cause of his grief and the matter of his complaints.

From the King James Version, Psalm 38:1-3 states David’s position and circumstance this way:

Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither
chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
For thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy
hand presseth me sore.
There is no soundness in my flesh because
of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my
bones because of my sin.

I like the way Matthew Henry’s Commentary interprets David’s anguish:

There is no soundness in my flesh because of thy anger. The bitterness of it, infused in his mind, affected his body; but that was not the worst. It caused the disquietude of his heart, by reason he forgot the courage of a soldier, the dignity of a prince, and all the cheerfulness of the sweet psalmist of Israel and roared terribly (v. 8).

I am brought to meditate on my own sins.

In Psalm 38:4, 13, and 14, David tells us:

For mine iniquities are gone over mine head…
But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was
as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth…
Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and
in whose mouth are no reproofs.

v. 2…thy hand presseth me sore

Can I just stop and praise God right now? Hallelujah, He does not give up on us! Hallelujah, for His correction (this is a tough one, I know! I thought of deleting it but it is in those times of correction that we are quickened towards spiritual maturity). Hallelujah, He opens our eyes, transforms our heart, and makes us brand new…out with the old by the precious blood of Jesus and in with the new! Hallelujah!

Matthew Henry’s Commentary interprets the above verses this way:

My own iniquities do correct me. It is sin, therefore, that this good man complains most of, a burden, a heavy burden (v. 4). My iniquities have gone over my head, as proud waters over a man that is sinking and drowning, or as a heavy burden upon my head, pressing me down more than I am able to bear or to bear up under. It keeps me from soaring upward and pressing forward.

Exactly! I can see the evil plans against me, people, and this world. We are chased and tormented! If we are hobbled in sin then we are fruitless for God. Satan is always scheming to swipe and run off with God’s glory.

How do you withstand and escape? Confess with your mouth “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9-10) and then you must love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and love your neighbor as you love yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

I have certainly fallen into the devil’s trap time after time after time! What is his motive? It is to press us down and to keep us from soaring upward and pressing forward. He wants to paralyze us in fear, anxiety, depression, and addiction (just to name a few) so that we are ineffective in God’s plan of restoration!

David writes about his mouth of no reproofs (v. 14). Do I open my mouth and call out to God at the suggestion of temptation? Believers, this is how we fight back. It is so simple to call out to God but we make it so difficult. Our cry to God is our weapon of defense! It does not matter if we are standing firm in prayer, reading Scripture in agreement to His Word, or singing praises and thanksgiving to the One who saved us from sin and death. Our part of the fight is to open our mouths and call on God. He will take care of the rest!

In reflecting on past sins, I called out nothing! In the constant assaults, where was my heart positioned? Did I truly want His help? Unconfessed sin separates us from God and I do not want to be distant from God nor held under by the heavy burden of sin. I want to soar! I pray that we are moved by God to confess and repent, that He would show us our wrongdoings so we can sit quietly before Him and have a conversation. He welcomes us back without question, forgives, and forgets! Hallelujah!

Matthew Henry’s Commentary describes sin like this:

Sins are wounds (Genesis 4:23), painful mortal wounds. A slight sore neglected, may prove of fatal consequences, and so may a slight sin slighted and left unrepented of.

I am beginning to understand the depth of sin and its consequences. In knowing this, I am feeling better equipped to call out to God in those moments of weakness, whatever that weakness may be. Be warned, if the enemy used one tactic and it worked, he will continue as he has, but once we have overcome (by the power of the Holy Spirit), that evil tactic will be dismissed and Satan will hurl another one to take its place! Be on the lookout!!

It is critical that we confess and repent when God brings sin to our attention! Ask God to do this for you. I have found, as I have added this request to my daily prayer, that God gently shows me where I have gone wrong. This is not a pleasant experience; it is actually quite horrific at times. Did I really do that? Oh, Father, I am so sorry!!

Confess and repent as soon as He reveals your sin. I promise you, He will bring you instantly into alignment with Him. 

This battle is not ours; it is His!

We must check the posture of our heart when calling out to Him. Do we really want God’s help: His will, plan, and purpose, or are we looking for a quick escape, a reason to keep on doing what we are doing? I know I am guilty of this! What is our motivation behind our call to Him? Are we self-seeking or God-seeking?

Matthew Henry’s Commentary tells of David’s all-over distemper:

Sickness will tame the strongest body and the stoutest spirit. David was famed for his courage and great exploits; and yet, when God contended with him by bodily sickness and the impressions of His wrath upon his mind, his heart fails him, and he becomes weak as water.

Can you see God’s work in action?

As loving parents correct their wayward children, we can trust that God does the very same for His children!

I heard Dr. Charles Stanley say, “He loves us too much to leave us the way we are.” We love our children too much to leave them the way they are!

Psalm 38:10

My heart panteth, my strength faileth me:
As for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone
from me.

Sin is not something that one wants to discuss or admit; it is something the Lord is teaching me, and I am compelled to write about it. Confession and repentance is what brings us closer to God. We do not like it when our family and friends mislead and lie to us. Why would God be any different?

We are all born with a sinful heart and it is because of Jesus Christ that we are reconciled back to our Father. Jesus came and died for our sins and it is by the covering of His blood that we are righteous before God, saved and sealed, guaranteed by the Holy Spirit our place in heaven with God.

Reference

Matthew Henry’s Commentary. (1960). Matthew henry’s commentary: Zondervan classic reference series in one-volume. Zondervan Academic.

This divinely inspired bit of writing originally started out as a Theology homework assignment but I cannot help but to share it here as well. My time with the Lord this morning is just way too good to keep to myself. I pray the Lord blesses you immeasurably as you read!

Psalm 37:39-40 (KJV)

But the salvation of the righteous is of the
LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.
And the LORD shall help them, and deliver
them: he shall deliver them from the wicked,
and save them because they trust in him.
This is the glory of the Lord!

As children of God (those who faithfully follow Him), we are lifted high above all those things that give us trouble. We are elevated by His righteous, forgiving, and loving right hand. “Thou shalt be fed by faith” (Matthew Henry’s Commentary, 1960, p. 613). We are divinely encouraged along the way of strife which is meant to bring the troubled into a deeper intimacy with the Father. This is a precious time of growth and victory for the believer! God (alone) is worthy of praise and thanksgiving because of His sweet and tender care. How faithful He is to His promises, how firmly He holds us, so close and tight; there is no chance of fear and anxiety of the future to creep in and destroy. We cannot be separated from God’s love (Romans 8:38-39). He is our shield and our refuge and because of His constant care of us, we can relax, soak in His Holy Presence and in His peace! Thank you, Father! We are comforted by Him as no other can do. We can be confident in the way we go and in the results of our circumstances. He is good!

Psalm 37:4

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he
shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

The desires of the heart, all the cravings of the soul are “to know and love, and live to God, to please Him and to be pleased in Him” (Matthew Henry’s Commentary, 1960).

This is far different from the desires of the body, far superior is our soul’s desire and in the Divine exchange that occurs when we seek the love of God. This is long-lasting, not to wither as the grass or fade as the flower: The Word of our God shall stand for ever (Isaiah 40:8). He is trustworthy and there is not one who compares!

We must make God our hope, our heart’s delight, and our guide (Matthew Henry Commentary’s, 1960). In doing this, and all by the power of the Holy Spirit who is our helper, God “will find means to extricate thee out of thy straits, to prevent thy fears, and bring about thy purposes, to thy satisfaction” (Matthew Henry’s Commentary, 1960). Hallelujah!

It is through a devoted (without distractions) time of daily prayer and Holy Bible study, along with church attendance (a Holy Bible based church) and Christian fellowship that we are moved (by the Holy Spirit) towards spiritual maturity. It is through personal strife and victories, all glory be to God, that we are enabled to share the Gospel Message of His Son, Jesus Christ.

Personally, I deliver this Good News through conversation, in my writing, and in action. He is truly our Daily Bread, He feeds us well, generously gives all that we need to carry on in His will, plan, and purpose. An intimate relationship with Jesus Christ is priceless and once you, by His grace and your faith, have received Him as your Lord and Savior, I promise, you will never want to go back to where you were before you met Him. He is just that good!!

God bless you Professor Powell and classmates. I am inspired and boosted in faith by your fellowship!!

Reference

Matthew Henry’s Commentary. (1960). Matthew henry’s commentary: Zondervan classic reference series in one-volume. Zondervan Academic.

There is hope and promise in a Biblical Worldview, peace, and joy because one knows God’s Story of rescue, redemption, and restoration. Humanity lost and eternally separated from God because of the sin that occurred in the Garden of Eden. There is security and a safe place to rest in a Biblical Worldview because God is faithful to His promises, kind and loving and not because of who we are but because of who He is. The Biblical Worldview encourages, guides, and saves. There is supernatural wisdom, understanding, and intimacy to all those who look at life and all its events through their God-given Biblical Worldview.

A Biblical Worldview builds upon God’s goodness in this world, within ourselves and for all those around us. It does not matter if they are family, friends, enemies, or complete strangers. Circumstances may be favorable or unfavorable, but because of the firm foundation of Jesus Christ, we remain on solid sacred ground and steady, holding tightly to the fact that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, NIV).

Each decision in life, the way we approach life, our deep philosophical questions, thoughts, motives, and emotions will be filtered through some sort of worldview. What is yours?

I am not sure when God opened my eyes to a Biblical Worldview? I know now, after much prayer and study, that God has, indeed, always been with me (as He is with you), quietly making His ways known, in His perfect timing and only when we have been prepared.

As I see it, my worldview began to change after I read a pocket-sized book by Charles M. Sheldon, called, “In His Steps.” I am not sure where or when I bought it but it is a treasure, old-timey in look and in story, and sweet. I smile when I think of the characters in it and the special change that overcame them as they asked the question, “What would Jesus do?” The clearance sticker shows the cost of $3.00; it is much more valuable to me than that!

As we filter all of our everyday activities, thoughts, emotions, and choices through our Biblical Worldview, we are given divine abilities to show off God’s glory! We will bring His light to all those we meet and all by the power of the Holy Spirit, for He knows every need and He will distribute accordingly. There will be some sort of exchange between the Holy Spirit who lives within us to the person in front of us. How wonderful and exciting is this! A vessel of God’s continuous love working in and through us, in service to the Lord and to people. Hallelujah!

Our relationships will become stronger, honest, and genuine! Rather than the murkiness of self-centered thoughts, pride, and arrogance, we are free to create and nurture long-lasting bonds with the people God puts before us. We think of others before ourselves, and we love as God loves us. It is a marvelous representation of who God is, how He cares, and how He loves, and it will spread from one to the other!

What a privilege and an honor it is to be used by God!

I pray that in all areas of my existence in God’s created earth, that I will measure all that I think, say, and do against the inspired Word of God! I pray the same for you, that our eyes would be open to all those things that God has for us so that we can point people back to Him, that we would use our spiritual gifts to benefit others rather than seek self-promotion and wealth.

I cannot help to reflect back to my prayer time this morning. I was with mixed emotions in reading Psalm 35. I could not help but focus my mind and heart on the emotion and pleas of Jesus Christ as He was pursued, belittled, and tortured by the onlookers all around Him as He was led to The Skull (Golgotha), the place of His crucifixion, where He writhed in pain and bled from the nails that were pounded ruthlessly into His hands and feet, Not thinking of Himself, but of the two men on either side of Him, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

“It was now about the sixth hour, and there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour, while the sun’s light failed. And, the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!’ And having said this he breathed his last” (Luke 23:47, ESV).

Jesus was able to sacrificially endure and persevere because He knew and felt joy in the end result. His death is the fulfillment of God’s plan to reconcile humanity back to Himself before the fall of Adam and Eve. He is victorious! As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ and in the belief that God raised Him from the dead, we are saved (Romans 10:9), not destined to eternal separation from God, but raised to life again, just as Jesus was and to eternally live with God in the New Creation.

As I prayerfully make my way through Psalm 35, I am forced to see by the living and active Word of God, that, sadly, I am part of this mocking, sinful crowd. The cries of Jesus, the prayers to His Father, and all His wounds are just as much my fault as it theirs. Throughout the generations, we all nailed Jesus to the cross! I am one of those onlookers shouting obscenities and throwing stones. I put Him there!

This is truly an awakening and I feel immediate conviction in my heart, sorrow, and shock! Terrible aren’t I?

Forgive me, Father, for I know not what I do! Forgive me for thinking it was someone else. How wicked and unworthy I am?

Psalm 35:4-6 (ESV)

“Let them be put to shame and dishonor
who seek after my life!
Let them be turned back and
disappointed
who devise evil against me!
Let them be like chaff before the wind,
with the angel of the LORD driving
them away!
Let their way be dark and slippery,
with the angel of the LORD pursuing
them!”

I am totally rotten and ashamed but so thankful for this illumination into my own evilness and ever so thankful for the infinite love of God, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit who is guiding all believers tenderly and patiently into holiness. Help us, God Almighty, live Spirit-filled, Spirit-controlled lives that are pleasing to you!

I also feel anger at myself and at the world, for we have lost many years to the relentless afflictions of Satan. Looking back on my own life, how many hours, days, months and years did I waste because I gave more glory to darkness rather than to Light. This world has fallen into the hands of spiritual oppression and is blind to the magnificence of God. We so easily succumb to the enticements of the enemy and we separate ourselves from the One who saved us. The One who promised to send the Holy Spirit to live in us, to help us navigate torrential waters; He is our Advocate, all-powerful, all-knowing, and ever-present in times of trouble! Praise God!

In this state, controlled by our sinful nature, let this old creation, our evil selves, be destroyed, let destruction come upon us. Let this tainted, thoughtless, and ugly world be led into Almighty Judgement, eradicate this unrest, discord, and greed, demolish ungratefulness, pride, and arrogance! This world is sickening and so am I!

But, you LORD…

In your mercy, grace, and compassion, you came down from the heavens in the form of a man, but fully God, and saved us. Destroying the sinful nature and bringing in a new life, a new creation, forgiven and saintly, “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of the darkness into his marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9, ESV).

“And made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen” (Revelation 1:6, ESV).

General revelation from God is seen in nature, in history, and in the human conscience; this unique design is given by God so that we can know the difference between right and wrong. We are all equipped with a conscience (Etzel et al, 2016).

I encourage you to pause for a minute and think back to a time when your conscience, that small inner voice, told you that certain behavior was okay or not okay.

As I pause, I can remember a time when I was in the midst of a moral choice. I knew what I wanted to do but right before I did it, I heard that inner voice say:

“STOP! Do not do this because this is what will happen!”

A second-long video went off in my head and I clearly saw what my wrong choice would bring me and how it would hurt others. What appeared pleasing to the flesh no longer held its draw.

We all have the ability to see general revelation (Etzel et al, 2016). It is up to us to decide what we see. Is God the Creator, man, or something else?

Special revelation is specific to the individual which includes the Scriptures and ultimately what is seen in the person of Jesus Christ (Etzel et al, 2016). It is a direct revealing of God to that person. A special exchange between the Almighty and His child.

The above was written yesterday morning. This morning, by God’s special revelation, I was able to experience it! I want to share this with you and I pray it gives you encouragement and a deeper desire to seek the Kingdom of God above all else (Luke 12:31)!

November 2, 2020 (Journal Entry)

Psalm 18

“In my distress I prayed” (Psalm 18:4-6, ESV, Study Notes).

Verse 3 from the New International Version (NIV):

“I called to the LORD, who is worthy
of praise,
and I have been saved from my enemies.”

My words:

I am a mess this morning! There are all sorts of negative arrows flying at me. Instead of focusing on the onslaught of attacks from the enemy and their effect, I find myself thanking God, instead, for the ongoing transforming work He is doing in my heart.

My usual posture when in this state of oppression is to sit, wallow, and philosophize over why I am feeling this way. I devise a plan to quickly remove myself from the mood. This may work for the day, maybe two, and then I am right back where I started from. I quickly recognize that this stance is not advantageous and I proceed to read from Psalms because I have finally grasped, through the teachings in the Bible, that my daily joy comes from Him. It isn’t in what I can do, but what He can do! It is his Presence and His Word that tells me that I am not alone; it is these kingdom thoughts that ultimately supersede my lowliness.

If you have not gathered by now, I do battle depression, anxiety, and fear, and have since I was a child. I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder back in early 2000 but this is not who I am in Christ! I know this now but I did not know this then! I sought treatment because I was clearly having trouble functioning in my daily life. My sleep cycle was awry, my thought life was out of control and I could not cope any longer without help.

Praise be to God, as I write this entry, I feel lifted and hopeful!

Psalm 18:6-7; 16-17 (NIV):

“In my distress I called to the
LORD;
I cried to my God for help.
From His temple he heard my
voice;
my cry came before him, into his
ears.
The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the
mountains shook;
they trembled because he was
angry…”
He reached down from on high and
took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful
enemy,
from my foes, who were too
strong for me.”

My words:

I don’t have to listen, withstand, and absorb the negative arrows of the enemy. Almighty God raised Jesus from the dead, He rescued and preserved David (to whom Jesus is descended) and He will do the same today. In our times of strife, we can call on God for help. He will show up but it is in His timing, not ours. He is omniscient, we are not!

Psalm 18 shows us that God does get angry when His children are tormented and challenged by evil. I choose to believe that God is my Vindicator (Jeremiah 51:10) because that is what the Bible says and because to believe anything else only keeps me feeling low. There is no hope in anything or anyone but God and I want to live a life in the hope of Someone bigger than me, more powerful than those around me, and when I take my last breath, I want to be held firmly in His mighty arms and carried to the place where I will continuously sing praises to the One who rescues, redeems and restores. Hallelujah!

In this part of my journal entry, I feel the Lord’s peace and comfort, and my hope is restored!

“Truly I am your servant, LORD…you have freed me from my chains” (Psalm 116;16, NIV).

If I am the Lord’s servant, then He will move me as He wills because isn’t His will better than my own? I don’t need to be anxious or fearful over school, a job, and whatever else the enemy hurls at me. My next steps will be determined by my Father, in heaven!

Yes, absolutely true! He has done it before and He will do it again!

Father,

I pray we hear your words ever so loudly that we wouldn’t miss out on your divine opportunities. Open our hearts to receive your clear direction. Let us not be so tied up in emotion and busyness that we cannot hear!

And what a reminder, thank you, Father:

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.
I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;
No one will snatch them out of my hand.
My Father, who has given them to me,
is greater than all;
no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.
I and the Father are one” (John 10:27-30, NIV).

Special revelation:

“Thou wilt light my candle, that is, thou wilt revive and comfort my sorrowful spirit, and not leave me melancholy. Thou wilt light my candle to work by, and give me an opportunity of serving thee and the interest of thy kingdom among men (Matthew Henry’s Commentary, 1960, p. 595).”

Praise be to God!

Thank you, Father!

Thank you for hearing our prayers and thank you for answering. When we feel morose and defeated, you give us hope, reassurance that you love us, and fill our hearts with joy! Thank you! When we don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans (Romans 8:26, NIV). Forgive us Father for rebelling in prayer but sometimes everything is so jumbled up inside that weakness overtakes and we give up. You know our needs before we even ask! Father, help us to pray! How wonderful are you!!

Matthew Henry’s Commentary says this about Psalm 18 (p. 594):

“In the midst of David’s (the author of this Psalm) troubles, the Lord was his stay so that he did not sink. God will not only deliver his people out of their troubles in due time, but he will sustain them and bear them up under their troubles in the meantime…He (God) delivered me because he delighted in me, not for my merit, but for his own grace and goodwill.”

This is God’s revealing of His Son’s death, burial, and resurrection. He was once hated, mocked, and persecuted but now so worthy of praise and thanksgiving, our Savior and Lord. He was crucified for the sins of humanity and now raised and seated at the right hand of the Father.

How can one be lowly after being shown these truths! I am renewed and ready for the day! Lord, help us do all things that are pleasing to you!

Romans 12:2 (NIV)

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

God bless you!!

*****

This blog post is inspired by my current college class, “Introduction to Theology Survey.”

Etzel, G., & Smalls, R. N. (2016). Everyday Series: Theology. Chattanooga, TN: B&H Academic.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary. (1960). Zondervan classic reference series in one volume. Zondervan Academic.