SPIRIT OF FEAR

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For God has not given us a spirit of fear!

Do not be afraid of terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
Just open your eyes
and see how the wicked are punished.
If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
no evil will conquer you;
No plague will come near your home.
For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
You will trample upon lions and cobras;
You will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! 

Psalm 91:5-13

March 1, 2018

Tonight, the topic in Prayer 101 class is on Spiritual Warfare which is something that I don’t really understand nor do I study it in my quiet time. I told my leader that when I feel opposition, I run to Jesus. Case in point, when my husband is away on business, I get afraid at night while trying to fall asleep. In the distant past, I would become so fearful that I would open the window in my bedroom and watch the road in front of our house as well as the front door. My anxiety level would be through the roof. Since recommitting my life to Christ, I combat my fear of the dark with prayer. It works every single time!

I chewed on this lesson for several days but felt that I was missing something so I emailed my leader on March 4th. I would like to share it with you because it sums up what I experienced in that class:
Hello,

I have been meditating and praying over last class. I know nothing when it comes to spiritual warfare. I choose this because it just adds to my fear and anxiety. If I can just rely on Jesus then He will fight my battles for me.

Something happened on Thursday and I don’t really understand it. I’m wondering if you can help me out?

As I was describing my fear of being alone (at night) to my prayer-mates, you stepped over and when I had finished you asked me when did it begin? I motioned with my hand, without even thinking, towards my knee. You said something along the lines of:

When a young child is left alone, the spirit of fear can get in.

When you stood behind me (during the command prayer) I felt safe and protected. There was a calm and a peace which I’ve never really felt before among another human being. I’ve always kind of felt like I was my own protector. I limit my outside activity due to the safety that I feel in my own home. I do believe that fear has held me back from many different opportunities. I do not want this to hinder what God has in store for me. I want to serve, through Him, to the best of my abilities. I want to do what I’ve been designed to do.

You asked, after I was prayed over, if I felt anything? I told you that what was said in prayer about “God being with me all along”, stuck out. It was a loud statement in my mind but I wasn’t sure why and throughout the prayer, I continued to hear it.  

As you walked away, I felt my legs waving, almost like I was floating on the ocean. They were kind of rubbery. It was a strange feeling! Not anything I’ve ever felt before. I didn’t say anything to my prayer-mates because I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

As I was leaving the church, the Holy Spirit brought to mind an incident that happened when I was four years old. I remember bits and pieces:

A teenage girl in my neighborhood put me in a child’s seat on the back of her bike. We rode to a park. I remember it was dusk and I couldn’t find the girl. I can hear my little self saying:

How am I going to get home. I’ve got to get myself home.

I remember sliding down a dirt hill that was scattered with small, tall trees. Next memory is me bursting through the front door declaring, “I’m home!”

My mom looked at me, perplexed and asked what had happened? I don’t remember my explanation but I do remember her taking some sort of brush to clean the dirt from my clothes.

At this same age, I remember waking in the middle of the night because I heard the front door shut. I jumped out of my bed and peeked through the curtain. I saw our car drive down the road. I was home alone. I was scared and didn’t know what to do so I jumped back in bed, covered myself up, and I don’t remember what happened next.

As I walked to my car, after prayer class, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me:

I was with you all along. If I was with you then, I am with you now. I brought you safely home to your parents so why wouldn’t I take care of you now?

My husband has been away and he left on Tuesday morning. I prayed the Lord’s prayer Tuesday and Wednesday night because I was scared. I have not had to recite the Lord’s Prayer since. My husband is still away.

I do not want to focus on this spirit of fear. I do not want to give any recognition, time or energy to this awful opposition. I tried to study a little bit on it yesterday but kept getting interrupted by thoughts. I was completely unfocused which is very unusual. I normally have an intimate quiet time with the Lord each morning.

I do, however, want to understand what this is all about. I need a final answer so that I can move on. I trust you because of how I felt when you stood behind me. Please help me find a resolution or an understanding to this because I don’t want to think of it anymore. I want my quiet time back with Jesus without further disruption.

I know you are a busy man so when you can, I would love to hear your thoughts.

God Bless,

Racinda

In response, my prayer leader sent a teaching that was prepared by Pastor Michael Morris, called FEAR!  I read through it and reflected on it while at work and in the evenings before bed. There was much to consider!

March 7, 2018

I am home today from work and I’m ready to get to the bottom of this “spirit of fear.” I have been pondering and praying on it since we had our class last Thursday.

I started my morning off with Charles Stanley, read a devotion and a chapter in the Book of John. I felt a disconnection and I was getting frustrated. I did not want another quiet time filled with disruption due to my inability to focus. I was not going to leave this desk until I found resolution in this! I bowed my head:

Lord–I thank you that you are my Provider, my Helper and my Savior and I am calling on you now! I am lost and I need a resolution. I need understanding so that I can move forward in my spiritual growth. Sit with me and fill me with knowledge and peace. I need to be connected to you. I need to feel you and I need to hear you. My days are incomplete without you. Forgive me of my sins, my disobedience to you. Let me have a clear path to You without disruptions!! I ask all of this in the Name of Jesus’…Amen

His answer was immediate! My attention was drawn to the lesson by Pastor Michael Morris. I was focused and ready to receive what the Lord had for me. Before I could dig too deep into this material, the Holy Spirit brought up a dream that I had months ago:

Somebody I loved was in an airplane and there was some distress with the engine. It was quickly dropping in altitude. From out of nowhere, came this gigantic, majestic angel and he caught the plane in the palm of his hand. The plane was a mere toy in the tight grasp of this heavenly being. His feet were standing firmly on the ground but yet he was tall enough to pluck the plane right out of the sky. The wings on his back were as big as the ocean and as white as newly fallen snow. Soft, like the feathers I used to pick out of my parent’s pillows!

I remember waking from this dream feeling like I had a divine safety net!

Not finished yet, the Holy Spirit reminded me of how I felt when my prayer leader was standing behind me while the spirit of fear was commanded out! I felt a safe presence.

On March 5, 2018, I wrote this in my journal:

I know my leader isn’t God but I do believe that the Holy Spirit used my leader as an example to show me trust, peace, protection and security as it was intended to be. Not marred by human hands, ideas or thoughts.

Nothing else mattered in that moment but the words–I was with you all along and what that presence behind me represented. It was as if God, Himself, were back there covering me. I was transported to another realm. I wanted to fall backwards, with eyes still shut and float in the peace and the safety of the Lord. My surroundings were blocked out, the noise of the room had disappeared and it was just God and I. I surrendering and Him fighting for me. Going before me. Standing on all sides of me. Safe and sealed in His blood of protection. I can be in this moment any time, in fear and in celebrations. He never changes from one day to the next. I can count on Him always to be there. I can trust and know that He will never betray, leave or forget me. It was lovely.

Psalm 91:14-16 says this:

The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”

Glory be to God for showing me in a long ago memory, a dream, and a prayer moment just how faithful and loving He is. He fights for us daily. He protects us from evil and He saves. We will rest with him eternally. We have nothing to fear when we have God on our side. I am incredibly thankful for this teaching. I just never knew where this fear came from. I accepted it as part of my nature. I learned to live with it and work around it.

Psalm 91:1-4:

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Heavenly Father–I thank you for sitting with me and showing me how truly safe I am with you! I no longer fear but rest in the fact that you are my refuge, my place of safety. Forgive me for my lack of trust in you. I press forward in the calling you have for me, not in fear, but in joy, peace, love, security, boldness and courage! And when I fail to move forward, I will remember the childhood memory, the dream, and the presence behind me (all around me). Thank you for resolution as well as understanding. You are so good!! In Jesus’ Name…Amen!

***

Thank you Pastor Michael Morris for your teaching on Fear!

Thank you Prayer 101 for faithfully delivering God’s message!!

3 thoughts on “SPIRIT OF FEAR

  1. Morgan March 7, 2018 / 9:41 pm

    I’m learning that there are really only two choices…fear or love. Fear is an illusion. Only love is real. It’s helpful that it really is that simple, but it hasn’t yet “clicked” to consistently confront my fear-based beliefs or thoughts. As always, I love your posts 🙂

    Like

    • Racinda Chave March 7, 2018 / 9:53 pm

      Thank you Morgan!! Always love hearing from you!! This teaching has really opened my eyes and I’m trying to decide if I should attend a talk on Spiritual Warfare at the local church. I feel like I’ve had enough for now!

      Like

  2. palacetothepit March 8, 2018 / 2:29 am

    Great post Racinda! I’m sorry that you had a fearful childhood, that always makes me sad to hear.

    Like

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