“LOOK”

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Journal Entry: March 27, 2020

Spiritual Birthing – Beginning – Start

Matthew 24: 4 (NLT, Study Notes)

…the only sure way to keep from being deceived is to focus on Christ and His words. Don’t look for special signs, and don’t spend time looking at other people. Look at Christ.

Matthew 24:14 (NLT, Study Notes)

…Jesus talked about the end times and final judgment to show His followers the urgency of spreading the Good News of Salvation to everyone. 

After reading the above Study Notes from my Application Bible, the Lord spoke to me:

“You couldn’t understand the importance of “quitting” spiritually. You only feel it physically, so, therefore, you have no job. So, you can feel the impact of quitting. I’m teaching you something spiritually important.

You can’t see its usefulness now, but feel the emotion of it so it will be fruitful later.”

TESTING: ONE, TWO, THREE

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“No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.”
John 11:4, NLT

Yesterday, during a quiet moment of prayer, the Lord impressed upon me that I need to begin writing again. Only this time, I’m to listen closely to Him and write exactly what He says and nothing else. Sounds intriguing!

In the book, “My Utmost for His Highest,” Oswald Chambers writes this:

“Faithfulness to Jesus means that I must step out even when and where I can’t see anything. But faithfulness to my own ideas means that I first clear the way mentally. Faith, however, is not intellectual understanding; faith is a deliberate commitment to the Person of Jesus Christ, even when I can’t see the way ahead.”

In the past several months, my journal has been put to the side and my choice in time alone with God has been reading and prayer instead of writing, reading, and prayer. I am certain that it is in writing that my vision of Him is clearest.

I spent time on my porch yesterday morning and I’d like to share what the Lord brought to me:

March 28, 2020

“Not everyone wants to be your friend.
Not everyone likes you.
You are not made to be friends with the whole world.
You can’t make everyone happy.
You can’t bring peace to people.
You won’t find acceptance in this world.
There will be people who care nothing for you.
There will be others who think the world of you.
This should not make you feel sad, inadequate or inferior.
Keep being you! You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14, NIV).”

My thoughts are pulled to a friend from high school. I have always admired her ability to press on despite circumstances. I’m praying for her this morning. She was always joyful!

I must keep my eyes on God!
“Look!”
He is my Creator, Sustainer, and Savior.

“Give us this day our daily bread…Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6: 10, 11, NIV).

With a deeper measure, I see that I am really nothing other than a sickly, sinful human. The pride that I once possessed has been taken from me. My only comfort is God! Oh, there is plenty more pride to go but I’ve come down in rank, gently humbled by the Lord, and shown that I will get nowhere grappling and striving in my own strength. It’s exhausting and boring. How easily I am toppled by disappointments and failure.

It is when I look at the Creator, the One who is in control, that life becomes exhilarating,  surprising and much than just manageable. The things that cause a mix-up within me no longer have power. I give them power by allowing my focus to water negative thoughts and feelings! They grow and I’m moved by their will but I’m learning that if I keep my eyes on God, He will be the One to move me! His will not mine! Which one do I want?

The “C” that I received on my Biology quiz and the termination I was handed at my job, God will use to His benefit. All things meant for evil will be turned to good (Genesis 50:20, NIV). Let Him do what only He can do!

It is difficult to move forward into the things God has for us when seeking friendship and validation from everyone we meet. Our hands will be empty every single time. This fullness of heart only comes from the Father. We can’t find it here in this world and if we do, it is only for a time before it disappears. We all disappear but one thing is for sure, nothing will ever separate us for God’s love…” neither death nor life” (Romans 8:38, NIV).

It isn’t because people are careless, hurtful and selfish. I’m just as guilty! It’s the enemy who rules in this world. We can’t see what it is that we are actually doing and if God is not first in our life, we will never see the truth of who He is and who we are! He is the one that opens our eyes; He makes the necessary changes to our hearts in order to be used fully by Him. We aren’t here to satisfy our needs. We are here to enjoy His heavenly Presence, bring glory to His name, and share His love with everyone (This does not mean a friendly, close relationship with everyone! It simply means love without expectations)!

I’m nearing the end of my prayer time but before finishing, the Lord shows me Lazarus’ Profile. He is featured in the Application Study Bible (NLT). It says:

“Even when the curtain of death was between them, Lazarus responded to Jesus’ voice….When all is said and done, only what God accomplished through us will really matter. We will take little credit. Jesus worked in and around Lazarus just as He does with us. We have Christ’s invitation to participate in His work, but we must not forget that He will do much more than we will know. Meanwhile, we delight in what Christ does with the little we have to offer him.”

***

Thank you, Jesus, for hearing our prayers and answering! You are good, faithful and persistent!!

 

 

 

 

LIVE VICTORIOUSLY

person lying on bed holding blanket

As I lay under the weight of many blankets, he came towards me urgently. He knew what the matter was and by his look of concern and determination, he was more than ready to assist.

His brows were furrowed in sympathy, eyes soft and calming, face in full expression of love and protection.

Who did these mighty and capable hands belong to? They were outstretched before he even reached me.

“What’s happened?” he whispered into my ear.

As if he didn’t know!

I mumbled into his broad and pronounced shoulder, “Don’t lift the covers back. I will be exposed!”

In the midst of my garble, he had already put his arms around me and hoisted me into an upright position.  One fluid motion without struggle nor strain! A mere child in his arms!

As I woke from this glorious dream, I immediately found myself in prayer, questioning God:

Who was the person in the dream?
Why his face?
Exposed of what?
Why was my answer unintelligible?

He replied:

You are my child.
I know you.
I know your wants, thoughts, weaknesses, gifts, strengths, purpose and so much more!
I knew before you even knew.
Your constant prayer is to know me.

Oneness!

Your daily cry out to me is to have a relationship where MY requests, movement, words and presence are above all else in your life.

You say, “All of you, Jesus, and nothing of me! Help me!”

I came to you in this dream in the form of this man so that you could see and feel with your human capabilities. At this time, this is the only way you can fully comprehend what it is that I want to show you.

Your heart is drawn to this man because you know him and care for him in the assisted living community. His face is his conversation due to his inability to speak full sentences. He communicates with you through his eyes, the creases in his forehead, the tilt of his head, the movement of arms and hands. You expertly read his body language from the confines of his wheelchair. You know his needs even before he can even tell you!

I chose him to show you my expression towards you!

You were held captive in the weight of the blankets, unable to move, only your head! You were stuck!!

I came to rescue you as I always do and will always do. You didn’t call, but I came. I did not dally, I moved with great purpose. I could not watch you struggle! I am compelled to come because of my love for you!

I was reaching for you before you even knew I was coming. I am always reaching for you and not because I need anything or want anything from you but because I love you!

I call out to you continuously because I long to spend time alone with you! I have wonderful, special moments to give you but I won’t force you! You need to come freely!! To be forced is not love!

I feel your battle from beneath the blanket of your burdens, so I quicken my steps! I heard your heart calling out to me for help. Although you uttered no words, I knew and I came! I see relief flood your face. I can’t help but smile! My child! You knew you were safe even though you could do nothing to save yourself. No amount of self would bring freedom!

You tried, didn’t you? You were so anxious over your weaknesses showing though! You did not want anyone to hear your delicate request, “Don’t expose me!”

I heard you which is all that matters. I understood! I already knew, which is why I came!

In one quick motion, I put you on your feet!

You felt the strength in my arms and hands?
I heard you breathe in my holy fragrance?
Your body went limp in surrender and peace invaded every area of your being!

Oneness!

I am the only ONE who brings this kind of peace!
You did nothing to make this happen!
I brought this gift to you because I want to help you!

I love you!!

As this Good News filled my heart, tears welled up in the corners of my eyes and fell.
Thank you, Jesus, for this visit! You truly are the giver of good gifts!

We are not expected to disentangle ourselves from challenges in life. Our loving Father came down from the heavens in the form of Jesus Christ to rescue us. He came to give us life abundantly, every single day! It is Him that brings victory in all things!

He cares!
He loves us!
We are His children!

Heavenly Father,

Thank you that you are ever-present in our lives, available and always near.
Thank you that you know our needs even before we do. You supply abundantly!
Hallelujah!
Thank you for the precious blood of Jesus!
We can live victoriously every day because of His death, burial, and resurrection.
All honor and glory be to you because you are the God who saves!!
In Jesus Mighty Name,

Amen!

 

 

 

 

IT’S YOUR CHOICE

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Photo by Caio Resende

My eyes popped open at 4:30 AM!

I said to the Lord:

“Do you want me to get up? Do you have something to tell me?”

His quick response:

“Do you want to get up and spend time with Me? I’m here waiting! You have a choice.”

I got up! Not promptly but pretty promptly!!

How delightful!

Do I want to get up and spend time with Him?

Absolutely!!

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life so that you and your descendants might live.

Deuteronomy 30:19 (NLT)

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK WHAT GOD DID: HELD

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I went to the hospital tonight like I do every night.  My friend is not doing well and neither is his son. Everything just feels so muddled and lost. I question this and wonder how such an awful thing could happen to such a good person?

Anyway, it takes me an hour to get home and normally I am exhausted during my drive because I’ve been at work all day. During my drive, I listen to Spotify on shuffle. I have a mix of rap, country, pop, and some old school music. Included in my list of 432 songs, are two Christian songs. I told you about them: “So Will I” and “Your Love Defends Me.” It is rare that they come up during my listening time because of the sheer number of songs that are in this playlist.

During my whole drive home, it was storming. The rain was really coming down and lightning lit up the sky quite beautifully. I was in deep thought of my friend and his son; this life can really suck at times! My friend is dying and I can’t do much to comfort him or anyone else in the family. At this moment, I’m not feeling much comfort!

Towards the end of my travels, the song, “So Will I” pops on. I don’t really think much of it but I find myself singing along. The song ends and literally, WHAT ARE THE ODDS, “Your Love Defends Me” comes on next. I can’t even fathom but it does and I immediately start to cry.

I really felt a presence during the whole time this song played. I felt like I was being held and shushed and like someone was telling me that everything will be okay; everything will work out how it’s meant to. Besides feeling that super special presence in the church while visiting a friend up north, this is the most moved I have ever felt, spiritually. It was so amazing to just feel that love and to feel like someone was really watching out for me and for them!

I pulled into my driveway just as the song was ending. It was perfect timing and it was perfectly planned out.

I can’t even begin to understand how that happened but it did and it was really moving and cool.

***

This letter was shared with me and I have been given permission to share it with you!

Thank you from the depths of my heart for allowing me to post your wonderful moment with God! He was and still is surely holding you close and whispering words of love into your heart! What a good, good Father we have!!

The love you felt that night is the exact reason why I keep running to Him. It’s a love that I’ve never felt before. It’s powerful, peaceful, reassuring and filling; all things that cause me distress, just seem to fade away. It no longer matters! My relationship with Jesus is life-changing and for this, I’m incredibly grateful! He is truly amazing!!

When life gets overwhelming, remember your Divine encounter with Jesus. He will surround you and fill you with His love again and again and again. He is always with you and will never fail you! Hallelujah!!

***

Please feel free to share your Divine encounters with me at connectorforhim@yahoo.com. I would love to hear what God is doing in and through you.

All glory be to God!!

Blessings!!

COME TO ME

love text on white paper with brown envelope

Dear Racinda,

I want to help you.
I want to take the burden from you.
I will protect you from the enemy.
I don’t like to see you walking through your day bent over in oppression.

I see every tear that falls and it breaks my heart.

I am your Father and I love you.

I care about EVERY detail of your life.

I have good things for you.
The defeat you feel is not what I’ve created for you.
Please, let me carry your heavy load.

I came to give life to all and that means you too!
I am the only one who can shoulder the weight.
Surrender it all to me. I know what to do with it.

Love,
Your Father

 

Dear Father,

Thank you, I never come away from your Heavenly Presence empty-handed.
Oh, how distraught I would become if you were nowhere to be found.
I rely on your complete availability, knowing You are near, You hear, and You answer.

What a divine privilege it is to spend time with You.
What devastation I’d feel if I could not feel or hear You.
Thank you, You are never silent!

I cannot function without You.
It deeply saddens me to even think about such a loss.
You know me and my every need; you supply, ever so faithfully, kindly, gently, patiently and gracefully.
How truly blessed I am to be loved and chosen by You.

Don’t let me be careless in anything I do.

Make my mind like yours!
Make my heart like yours!
Make my desires like yours!

Love,
Your daughter
Racinda

 

LOOK WHAT GOD DID: HEALING

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Photo by Sebastian Voortman 

…and the Lord listened to Hezekiah’s prayer and healed the people.

2 Chronicles 30:20 (NLT)

…and the Lord listened to our prayers and He healed the man.

Hallelujah!

June 4, 2019

Medical reports state that the “numbers” are up. I am praying for a Divine Miracle, along with many others. No sign of cancer in Jesus’ Name, Amen!

I picture him laying in the MRI machine. I hear the noise and sense his apprehension. I call on Jesus for healing. The room becomes a brilliant, yellowy hue. Jesus is standing at his side, directly in front of the infected lower mid-section.

There is a calm in the atmosphere even though human emotion is high, fear of the unknown. I see peace and total healing.

It’s warm but not unbearably so. The hands of Jesus are soft, light but yet strong. He quietly lays them on the body of the sick man. There’s an immediate sensation of heat, an awakening in the lower half of his body first and then it moves towards his heart and his mind.

There’s a feeling of a coming together, knitting, from the depths of his body; it’s strange and can only be, somewhat, compared to the grief he felt when he lost his loved ones.

He recognizes a change, senses a new light and is consumed by awesome love. His reaction is to give in and sink into the MRI vessel because of such uncommon comfort. It’s good. All stress of this situation, this unfortunate moment in time has been erased. He’s left with a peace that he cannot quite put his finger on. It’s odd, something he could never picture himself doing, but he finds himself pleading from within.

I want more!

Jesus smiles and fills the room with His glory. Restoration begins where decay had invaded. This extremely kind, generous, loving husband and father has been made new.

His heart softens, eyes open, healing complete.

***

July 26, 2019

Glory be to God. The cancer is gone!! Thank you, Jesus, for hearing our prayers and answering! You are a good, good Father!!

 

 

 

 

LOOK WHAT GOD DID:

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Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

Come and listen, all you who fear God,
and I will tell you what He did for me.

Psalm 66:16

I’m reading a book called, “The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life.” This belonged to my husband’s grandmother and she’s underlined, checked and starred all pertinent parts to her own life. It’s pretty cool to see how God touched her as she read.

I haven’t made it very far in the book, but once again, I found myself reading about a particular woman who consistently gave her burdens to God. She had been through some devastating trials and she explains to the person who is visiting her that she did not make it through all on her own. The visitor was quite shocked that she could endure; the woman assured her that God was the one who carried her to victory each time.

She made a point to say that not only do we need to bring our burdens to the Lord, but we need to leave them there. Often times, we carry them back with us. Worry, anxiety, fear, the actual event, whatever the upset is, it never fails to resurface throughout the day. Each time we feel heaviness, we are carrying the load, we must immediately give it all back to Jesus; He knows just what to do!

In doing this, we will have God’s perfect peace! Eventually, we will forget we even had any burdens to begin with.

Hallelujah!

I just had the most stressful week! I found myself in a complete frenzy. This morning, I woke up and felt sluggish, defeated and depressed! This is certainly no way to move into a new day.

Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light. 

Matthew 11:28-30

I give it all to you, Jesus! Every single area, I give it to you!

Yes, my day brightened, almost immediately!

In quiet, the Lord spoke to me about “checking my spirit” periodically throughout the day. If you feel peace, you are walking in the Spirit. If you feel unrest, you are walking with the enemy.

My response to Him:

I need reminders! I get carried away and lose touch with you!

It wasn’t until later that the Lord spoke again in regards to spirit checking.

He told me to add posts entitled, “Look What God Did.”

This will be a wonderful way to boost faith and to recenter on God. Circumstances happen all the time, all around us. We take in so much noise that it isn’t difficult to become sidetracked with worldly things. We are weak human beings and we need the encouragement of other faith-filled Christians to keep us moving in God’s direction.

Fellowship is so important!

I encourage all of you to participate and share with your family and friends because I firmly believe God will use this in a mighty way as we share all that He is doing in and through us. It could be a Scripture that the Holy Spirit highlighted in your quiet time, a person who was put before you who gave you much-needed encouragement, a blessing in finances, healing, ministry…anything that God’s hand was placed on, share it with me.

I would love to hear your stories! I will make a post for each testimony that is passed on to me and as we read them, please comment if you feel led by the Holy Spirit. All posts will begin with…Look what God did…and then I will put the subject after it. I will go first in a separate post.

You can be anonymous or you can share details. Do as you’d like but the main focus is Jesus. What is it that He did?

Please send all stories to connectorforhim@yahoo.com for now. Put in the subject “Look what God Did.” You can use the same email for prayer requests. I would be honored to pray with you! Those will NOT be posted anywhere! They will remain private between God, you and I.

I so look forward to hearing from you!!

God bless you!

 

WEAK KNEES

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Photo by Public Domain

In His hands, it became more than enough. Whether it be talent, time or treasure, it is when we give them to Jesus that our resources are multiplied.

Matthew 14:19-21

July 16, 2019

A rough start to my time of quiet but in the end, God spoke and how thankful I am that He did!

With my good morning prayer finished, two thoughts lit upon my mind:

“When God is silent.”

“If you don’t sit down to write, nothing will happen.”

My response:

“I don’t like to think of God as silent; For an hour and a half, YOU have been silent! I will not settle for this! I will dig in deeper because I’m not coming away from this moment without You. Your Word says that even before you made the world, YOU loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in your eyes (Ephesians 1:4). That is some kind of love and when you love someone that much, you cannot deny them! So, I will wait patiently and expectantly for You! You know how much time I have to spare this morning due to a work commitment. I know you will come forth! You are always with us, you never fail us, so you will not abandon this time of quiet! Thank you, Jesus, in advance!”

It wasn’t until the last half hour that God spoke!
Hallelujah!
To imagine a time with God as silent is truly disheartening.

I wrote this in my journal:

I am enabled by the Lord Jesus, therefore, weakness should not be an issue.

This is what He said:

“When your knees are weak, you are looking at your own strength instead of mine. I did not give you a spirit of fear and timidity but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). Timothy (2 Timothy 2:6, 7) was experiencing great opposition to his message and to himself as a leader. Paul urged him to be bold. When you allow people to intimidate you, you neutralize your effectiveness in the things I have for you. The power of the Holy Spirit can help you overcome your fear of what some might say or do so that you can continue on with My call, your mission.

So, when praying, don’t feel intimidated–know that the power of the Holy Spirit is within you. He will give you the words to say. He will help you! He will bring to your remembrance the things He’s taught you (John 14:26) while you are in prayer with another. When you look at your weak knees you sink, just as Peter did (Matthew 14:22-33).

Immediately, call out to Me! Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you (James 4:8)! You will not sink!

Don’t get critical in your prayer! Don’t wish you would have said this or that! Again, this is taking your eyes off Me and back onto your weak knees.

Refocus!

I know the needs of the people who come to you for prayer! You do not! Quit looking for praise or validation when finished because this will be all you receive! Instead, thank Me!

Before and after, thank Me.

The power (Acts 1:8) you will receive from the Holy Spirit includes courage, boldness, confidence, insight, ability, and authority. You will need all these gifts to fulfill your mission. Believe in Me as your Savior and you will experience the power of the Holy Spirit in your life.

July 19, 2019

The Lord continues to teach me:

“You are still trying to do My work in your own strength! There is no victory in this!”

I did not pray before the prayer group last night. I chose to read Google News instead. I did not ask for God’s help. I did not ask what He’d like me to pray about.

I came into my office, my quiet space, five minutes before the prayer phonecall. I said a quick “something” and then dialed in.

I felt okay at the beginning but as the prayers of others continued, the enemy fired up his darts and consistently threw them at me; I allowed them to penetrate! The longer I remained silent, the more difficult it became to speak. I had no intention of praying but my name was called and in my heart, I did not want Satan to win. I had to say something! What came out was a human effort, no spirit whatsoever! I had to force the words out; they were not rivers of living water.

It was terrible!

I’m looking to you, Lord, for understanding and growth. How can I be better than I was yesterday?

This is what He told me:

“You are not listening to me! You willy nilly through prayer, using your mind instead of your heart. The gate is through praise and thanks to Me. You try to be like the others when they pray. This will never accomplish anything because you are different. They are different. Nobody prays the same because I work differently in each of you.

Don’t pretend! Speak what’s in your heart!
Don’t follow ‘rules!’ Speak what’s in your heart!
Listen to me!”

My response to Him:

“I’m afraid to speak what’s in my heart because people will see sadness, inadequacy, and self-centeredness. The prayer will be about me and it should be about You and others.”

“Speak what’s in your heart; I will put the spin on it! Make a choice–make a conscious effort to pause and listen to your heart. What is it saying and then say it? Don’t worry about what comes out of your mouth. If you are right with me, if you are praying from a clean heart, whatever comes out will be right and good and from Me. 

It’s like switching from the left hemisphere to the right hemisphere. Remember this teaching? The practice you’ve done in order to go from analytical thinking to creative thinking? Do the same thing with your mind and heart. Most importantly, come to Me first! Seek Me first! If you don’t, you will have more experiences like you did last night!

Seek the Kingdom of God about all else, live righteously and I will give you everything you need (Matthew 6:33).

Paul shared (1 Corinthians 2:1-5) the simple message of Jesus Christ. He allowed the Holy Spirit to guide his words. He knew the Holy Spirit would give power to his words and use them to bring glory to God. Paul’s confidence, in speaking, was his knowledge of the Holy Spirit which is to help and guide us as we fulfill our mission for God.”

In my journal I wrote:

I would have given up a long time ago. I am one that has always given up. If something was too difficult and my level of comfort became unmanageable, I gave up and quickly moved on to something else. Something easier! I have been told this and I guess I’ve lived it throughout the course of my life.

This one thing, the call to prayer with others, will not allow me to give up. The Holy Spirit continues to supply all the things I need to keep moving forward. In my mind, I want to give up. I want to swipe everything off my desk and scream:

“I QUIT!”

My heart will not let me do this. My hearts says:

“You don’t really want to give up. You want this and you believe this is what God wants and because God wants this, you want this too. You know, deep down in your heart, the victory–in Christ–is yours. You know God’s plan for you is for good and not disaster (Jeremiah 29:11). You know this is the season of discipleship. You know that you are in the way. Your ideas are in the way. You stop progress because you won’t open your hand and surrender. You do not have the final say. You don’t have control. You don’t know what’s best because when you exert your own ideas, control and what’s best in that particular situation, where do you always find yourself?”

Lost
Empty
Alone
Mute
Hopeless
Helpless
Human

Oswald Chambers (The Worker):

“He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way.”

This process–this prayer call–is the one thing in my life that I’ve stuck with. I proceed because my Father provides. He gives me just what I need to keep me moving towards Him.

He never fails!
He never abandons!
He is always with me!

Oswald Chambers (The Worker):

“All God’s men are ordinary men made extraordinary by the matter He has given them.”

I DO NOT WANT TO BE ORDINARY!!!

***

Thank you, Jesus!

Inspired by A.T. Thank you!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE LAST TIME

alice
Alice

I found myself in the midst of a spiritual battle, caused by sin! This past week or so, God has revealed where it was that I went wrong. Without going into too much detail, I will just say that pride, lack of respect, and ungratefulness had led me astray.

Praise be to God for never leaving us where we are. He always puts divine opportunities in front of us in order to draw us back to Him. The following is one of those divine opportunities.

June 21, 2019

I am joyless! I can not figure out what is going on. Why do I feel empty? The spiritual high that I had been on has disappeared, leaving me lethargic, moody, restless, and needy.  I have no desire to get out of bed. Let me just sleep until this slump has gone away!

I close the blinds and the curtains, place earplugs into my ears, silence my phone and pull the covers up tight around my neck.

I woke around 1:30 PM and felt instantly called to visit Alice. She had recently been moved from my assisted living community into a long term community which she did not like. I decided each Friday I would take time out to check in on her. It had actually been about three weeks since I’d seen her. On this particular afternoon, the pull to get there was super strong.

The motivation that I lacked was no longer an issue. I was extremely eager to get out of bed, dressed, and out the door.

When I arrived at her door, I peered in quietly and found her just as I always found her, in bed. I walked into her room and called her name and she immediately sat up. Her eyes were bright, her hair had just been cut, her smile was genuine, cute, and charming! Completely different from the last time I saw her. I could barely wake her up. How refreshing to see her how she once was!!

She yelled out a name which I did not recognize. I soon found out it was one of the nursing assistants who often helps her get dressed each morning.

“No, Alice, it’s Racinda!”

“What? Is that really you?”

She was surprised to see me. Guilt tries to invade!

“Yes, Alice, it’s me. I’ve been thinking about you and felt the need to see you.”

“You came just in time! I need to go to the bathroom and get dressed. I’m going to Happy Hour with my friend.”

Engaged in small-talk, we hear the door open. A nursing assistant came in and asked Alice what her need was. Apparently, her call bell had been on but I was unaware, otherwise, I would have shut it off and helped Alice myself without interrupting staff.

Alice quietly stated her needs and I immediately jumped in and said that I would take care of her personal requests. The nursing assistant was thankful and went on to help someone else. ‘

I gently pulled Alice from the bed and we gingerly walked to the bathroom. She held tightly to the handles of her walker and I lightly held on to her boney hips. Wow, she had really diminished into frailty since I saw her last.

Love filled my heart and instantly I was transported from my own emotional angst to the elderly woman standing before me.

How wonderful this feels!

Serving another just does something supernatural to the human heart!

I pulled some clothes from Alice’s crowded closet and brought them into the bathroom. I carefully removed her pajamas, and dressed her; we made our way back to her wheelchair beside the bed. I combed her hair tenderly:

“Where is the red bag that my son gave me?”

“It’s under your pillow, Alice.”

“Can you get it? I need some lipstick!”

I reached under her pillow, retrieved the bag, and she fumbled her way through her treasures and found her tube of lipstick.

I watched her apply it perfectly!

“How do I look?”

“Beautiful!”

“O’ come on! You’re just saying that.”

“No way, I tell no lies!”

We are interrupted by a knock on the door. Reluctantly, I answer; I did not want to end our visit.

“Is she ready?”

We quickly said our goodbyes and she is whisked out the door and down the hall.

In the silence of her room, I make her bed just as I had done so many times in the past. As I walked towards the front door of the building, I turn around to see where the music is coming from and I see Alice. She’s smiling and looks fantastic!

As I got into my car to leave, I said to God:

“You intend to use this ten minutes for something. Your call was way too strong to be used for nothing!”

My sweet friend was incredibly grateful I was there to help and the timing could not have been more perfect! I came away from this visit feeling encouraged, lifted and relieved. Joy had returned! Hallelujah!!

But only for a moment, the spiritual battle that I spoke of at the start of this post, raged on for weeks! Thankfully, God gives us only what we can handle. When we begin to feel that we can’t make it another minute, He rescues us with blessings like the one I’m sharing with you now.

In this visit with Alice, I was in the belief that God was pointing me back to the nursing department.

I now know different! He called me for one reason only–to say goodbye to Alice!! To give me the chance to care for her one last time!

I received this series of texts on June 27, 2019, at 3:40 PM:

“I’m sorry to tell you that Alice is failing. I know you saw her last week. It all happened today. She is not conscious but is comfortable.”

5:48 PM of that same day:

Alice passed right around 5:00 PM. Her family member and hospice nurse were at her side.

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If you’d like to read more about Alice, please see my post called, “He Speaks” and “Covered by His Blood.”